Come avrete intuito questa rubrica vuole andare a scavare nel torbido, specialmente in quelle buone e giuste pratiche di fuorismo che ci contraddistinguono. In questo caso il torbido è la totalità, infatti pur dal suo lontano esilio bolognese riesce a far sentire la propria presenza. Mastro grigliatore del Kick ‘n drink, mastro bevitore 365 giorni all’anno. Il suo vero nome è avvolto nel mistero, quello con cui è conosciuto nel mondo un programma, signori e signori ecco a voi IL VINAZZA!
1) Quando è stata la prima volta che hai sentito parlare del Dal Pozzo e cosa hai pensato?
V: La prima volta che ho sentito parlare del Dal Pozzo è stato su Porn Hub, quando qualche buontempone ridoppió un video della categoria Midget con l’ audio dei primi cori della Masnada. Dopo aver finito di “esaminare” il video mi informai e scoprii che c’era questa squadra di periferia…O almeno, questo sarebbe successo nel mio mondo ideale.
In realtà il mio primo incontro con la Masnada è stato più normale, ma ugualmente magico. Fu in un tempo che si perde nei miti e nelle leggende, quando il Dal Pozzo era ancora il GS e La Mecca del calcio scadente era il Wilson Park. Con qualche amico dei tempi del GB Grassi (gran fucìna di cervelli) si parlava di trovare un’ altra scusa per bere e qualcuno aveva sentito di una certa squadra in una certa frazione che tirava scarpate a un pallone il sabato pomeriggio. In tempo record con dei kebab nello stomaco e delle Finkbrau (bei tempi) nello zaino ci trovammo in questo paesaggio idilliaco alle porte di Saronno, avvolti dalla fragranza del letame nei campi, a vedere una squadra sconosciuta giocare uno sport di cui a nessuno fregava niente. Peró è proprio lì che nacque l’amore: vedere quei quattro scappati di casa (cifre reali) che tifavano (più che altro bestemmie e insulti contro gli avversari) una squadretta senza campioni dietro una sola marcissima pezza giallo-verde mi fece venire subito la voglia di restare. Quando vidi poi che il rapporto casse di birra/supporters era di 5 a 1 capii subito che da quel gruppo poteva nascere qualcosa di grande. Pensai: “è qui che si realizzano i sogni”.
2) Da veterano del progetto ci hai mollato per terminare una laurea specialistica in scienze storiche a Bologna. Innanzitutto: non ti fai un po’ schifo? E in secondo luogo: raccontaci la preparazione tipo delle tue spedizioni in cui compari, miracolosamente a piedi, al campo armato di un qualche superalcolico semisconosciuto.
V: Ma perché farsi schifo quando ci si puó farsi e basta? Dopo questo questa piccola perla di saggezza appresa durante il soggiorno bolognese posso anticiparti che molto probabilmente quando avró anche io quell’ ambitissimo titolo di studio che mi garantirà l’ accesso al mondo della disoccupazione mi rimarrà molto tempo per espiare i peccati nei confronti del Dal Pozzo e di tutte le persone straordinarie che compongono il progetto, a cui sono molto affezionato. Suona come una profezia di Cristo: un giorno, quando meno ve lo aspettate, mi vedrete arrivare sotto i raggi del sole, camminando con una schiera di fedeli alcolisti e nuovi alcolici con cui battezzare i malcapitati che non hanno ancora visto la luce del Sert.
E succederà come sempre nel più fitto mistero della fede: la mia preparazione ai match é un dogma. Di solito quando giungevo alle partite era sempre per miracolo, dopo un after e non so come. Ma alla fine volente o nolente mi trovavo sempre al campo (a volte quello sbagliato, ma pur sempre un campo)
3) Bevanda azzurra in bottiglia Guizza, spiegaci.
V: Bevanda blu in bottiglia azzurra.
Sicuramente uno dei miei maggiori contributi alla causa Gialloverde. Puó sembrare strano ma non si trattava del solito sadico mezzuccio per vedere la gente sbronzarsi con cocktail casalinghi mefitici e decadenti. La doverosa premessa è che in quel periodo infuoriava lo scandalo “Blue Whale”, montato ad arte dai media di tutto il mondo e da qualche youtuber a caccia di visualizzazioni facili. Si scoprì in seguito che questo “gioco” (non alcolico guarda caso) non stava facendo male a nessuno.
Allora, raccolta tutta la mia indignazione, volevo inventare io qualcosa di blu che rappresentasse davvero un pericolo per la società e mi adoperai subito a sperimentare con tutti i superalcolici più lovecraftiani che trovavo in casa: è meglio non svelare la ricetta, ma il risultato fu la brodaglia di colore azzurrognolo che tutti conosciamo e che, una volta travasata in una bottiglia della laidissima acqua Guizza (già diaspetto satanico), cominciai a diffondere tra i pochi eletti della Curva.
Pensai che magari dopo le prime vittime Le Iene sarebbero arrivate anche a Dal Pozzo e la squadra ne avrebbe ottenuto la risonanza mediatica che si meritava…Ma fu un nulla di fatto. A quanto pare i masnadieri reggono troppo bene l’alcol. E di ció mi rendono più che orgoglioso.
4) Oltre che veterano del progetto sei anche veterano di bar e bettole del saronnese. Scuola GB Grassi, forgia, serate oi e birroni (in entrambi i sensi). Scarrella qualche aneddoto da vecchio lupo di mare quale sei.
V: Come si suol dire in questi casi “la ringrazio per la domanda ma passiamo alla prossima”.
In realtà no ho molto da raccontare perché sono un bravissimo ragazzo rispettoso delle leggi, del vivere civile e della proprietà privata. E anche perché per ovvi motivi etilici non mi ricordo molto delle mie imprese passate, dovrebbero essere gli altri a raccontarmele! Detto questo ci tengo a fare un appello rivolto soprattutto ai più giovani: in questo momento in cui la nostalgia mi attanaglia per la lontananza dalla mia terra romita, io esorto le nuove generazioni a non vivere dei ricordi di quelle passate. Ma in uno spirito dannunziano di amore per la vita eroica siate voi a plasmare il vostro disagio. Sbronzatevi e diventate voi degli aneddoti viventi!
5) E’ vietato introdurre all’interno dell’ano fumetti mortarogeni, rettili, preti e qualsiasisi stadio in bottiglia di vetro o vetro. E’ vietato, BIIIP BIIIP, altresì, BIIIP BIIIP, fumo e bevande alcoliche per tutti all’inferno. (nei commenti l’originale e la versione Vinazziana del manoscritto)
V: Mi fa piacere che questi miei deliri vi siano rimasti impressi nella memoria, ma ci tengo a precisare che la versione modificata da me é l’ altra, non quella dei fumetti mortarogeni rettali. Cioé, lo scherzo vero sarebbe che a una partita di calcio non si possa far casino né portare fumogeni e soprattutto BIRRE… Di questo passo dove andremmo a finire?
Ci credo che l’ interesse per lo sport in Italia é in declino.
6) Un gol, una scivolata, un rutto, una sbronza, una bestemmia. Raccontaci il tuo ricordo più bello legato al gialloverde.
V: Come in ogni partita del Dal Pozzo tutto questo avviene sempre in una botta sola!
Eh difficile rispondere perché i bei ricordi sono tanti. Le prime partite la domenica mattina quando i giocatori, da veri atleti, si presentavano direttamente in after. Le grigliate spontanee che partivano al Wilson tutti i giorni, fatte bruciando dei bancali sospetti con fiamme dai colori improbabili dovute a chissà quale metallo pesante. I cortei quelli veri fatti per le strade della frazione… Cioè quelli da casa Bertuolo fino al campo trascinando in strada gli spalti D. I. Y. in una processione di bestemmie e sudore. E come dimenticare la bolgia della prima partita in terza categoria allo stadio di Turate? La curva che frana a Valbrembo con il gol del 90esimo che ci porta in finale di Coppa? La prima trasferta fiorentina? E il degenero morale dei Kick n Dink?
Ovviamente i ricordi (sbiaditi) che mi infiammano ancora sono perlopiù legati agli aspetti meno agonistici dell’ esperienza dalpozziana, senza nulla togliere all’ impegno e alla dedizione della società e di chi poi in campo ci scende davvero con la voglia di rompere il culo al mondo. Anzi,
sono sicuro che vedendo come si battono da leoni nel terzo tempo (quello che conta) i ragazzi in campo sappiano regalare spettacolo anche negli altri due tempi meno importanti.
“A noi della partita non ce ne frega un cazzo” cit.
Se proprio dovessi dire un momento in cui per caso mi é fregato qualcosa anche della partita non potrei fa altro che citare la finale di coppa Lombardia. Nonostante una partita combatrutissima la sfiga ci regaló una sconfitta ai rigori, ma noi ne uscimmo da reali vincitori. Perché quando vedi coi tuoi occhi che in campo e sulle gradinate batte un solo cuore capisci che il vero sport non ha a che fare con i risultati e non é più solo un fenomeno di aggregazione sociale ma una vera e propria dimostrazione di Umanità. Empatia ai livelli più sublimi.
Per questo AVANTI DAL POZZO! PER ASPERA AD ASTRA… E Origgio merda. Sempre e comunque.
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วันนี้ สล็อตแมชชีนยังคงเป็นหัวใจสำคัญของประสบการณ์คาสิโน พวกมันใช้งานง่ายรวมทั้งให้ผู้เล่นที่นานาประการ มีทั้งยังสล็อตแมชชีนเริ่มแรกและสล็อตวิดีโอซึ่งกำลังเป็นที่นิยมเยอะขึ้นเรื่อยๆสล็อตแมชชีนเป็นแนวทางที่ยอดเยี่ยมสำหรับเพื่อการทำเงินพิเศษ พวกเขาเล่นง่ายแล้วก็ทุกคนสามารถเพลิดเพลินใจได้
ไม่ว่าพวกเขาจะมีประสบการณ์หรือความรู้สำหรับในการเล่นเกมในระดับใด สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นวิธีที่ดีสำหรับการฆ่าเวลาในเวลาที่รอคอยการชนะครั้งใหญ่ครั้งถัดมาของคุณ
สล็อตแมชชีนโดยปกติจะแบ่งประเภทตามจำพวกของเกม ดังเช่นว่า กลไก
วิดีโอ หรือโต๊ะ เครื่องสล็อตแมชชีนเป็นรูปแบบที่โบราณที่สุดรวมทั้งเรียบง่ายที่สุดของสล็อตแมชชีน พวกเขาใช้ชุดเกียร์และวงล้อหมุนเพื่อสร้างภาพลวงตาของสล็อตแมชชีนที่ชนะ เครื่องสล็อตวิดีโอใช้หน้าจอวิดีโอ
สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นรูปแบบหนึ่งของการเดิมพัน และเหมือนกับการเดิมพันทุกต้นแบบ มีความเสี่ยงรวมทั้งมีโอกาสสูญเสีย ผู้ที่เล่นสล็อตแมชชีนมักจะทำเพื่อความสนุกสนาน แต่ว่าก็มีคนที่เล่นเพื่อพนันสูงด้วยเหมือนกัน โดยทั่วไป ยิ่งเครื่องเป็นที่นิยมมากเท่าไหร่
โอกาสสำหรับในการแพ้จากการเดิมพันก็จะยิ่งสูงขึ้น
สล็อตแมชชีนมีมานับเป็นเวลาหลายปีแล้วแล้วก็เป็นแบบอย่างการพนันยอดนิยมเป็นอย่างมาก
พวกเขายังคงใช้งานง่ายดายแล้วก็คนส่วนใหญ่สามารถชนะรายได้สำหรับในการเล่นสล็อตแมชชีนเป็นวิธีที่ดีสำหรับผู้เล่นสำหรับในการเดิมพัน และก็ยังเป็นแบบความเบิกบานใจยอดฮิตอีกด้วย พวกเขาสนุกกับการเล่นและยังเป็นวิธีที่เยี่ยมสำหรับในการทำเงิน
แม้กระนั้นผู้เล่นยังสามารถชนะตั๋วหรือข้าวของอื่นๆได้ โดยปกติเครื่องจะถูกตั้งค่าเพื่อผู้เล่นสามารถชนะได้ทั้งเป็นประจำหรือเป็นบางครั้งบางคราว สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นต้นแบบการเดิมพันที่ผู้เล่นใส่เงินเข้าไปในเครื่องและอุตสาหะที่จะชนะรางวัล รางวัลที่พบมากที่สุดเป็นเหรียญ แม้กระนั้นผู้เล่นยังสามารถชนะตั๋วหรือข้าวของอื่นๆได้ สล็อตแมชชีนมักจะถูกตั้งค่าเพื่อให้ผู้เล่นสามารถชนะได้เสมอๆหรือเป็นบางโอกาส
ข้อดีอย่างหนึ่งของสล็อตเป็นเข้าถึงได้ง่ายอย่างยิ่ง พวกเขาทำความเข้าใจได้ง่ายแล้วก็แม้แต่คนเริ่มต้นก็สามารถเริ่มเล่นได้อย่างเร็ว
สิ่งนี้ทำให้พวกเขาเป็นตัวเลือกที่สุดยอดสำหรับผู้ที่ยังใหม่กับการเล่นเกมคาสิโนหรือผู้ที่อยากได้ลองเกมใหม่
สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นรูปแบบการเดิมพันที่ได้รับความนิยมเนื่องจากใช้งานง่าย ผู้เล่นแค่เพียงใส่เงินเข้าไปในเครื่องแล้วกดปุ่มเพื่อเริ่มเล่น เครื่องจะสุ่มเลือกจำนวนช่องที่จะเล่น รวมทั้งผู้เล่นจะได้รับรางวัลตามผลของเครื่องสล็อตสล็อตแมชชีนยังเป็นแบบการเดิมพันที่สะดวก
ผู้เล่นไม่ต้องลุกจากที่นั่งหรือรอตั้งแถวเพื่อเล่น พวกเขาสามารถใส่เงินเข้าไปในเครื่องและเริ่มเล่น
คนที่ยังใหม่กับสล็อตชอบพบว่าพวกเขาน่าติดตาม สล็อตได้รับการออกแบบมาให้เล่นแล้วติดใจแล้วก็เล่นง่ายมาก
ผู้คนสามารถติดสล็อตได้อย่างเร็ว และพวกเขาบางทีอาจพบว่าเป็นการยากที่จะหยุดเล่นคนที่ติดสล็อตอาจพบว่ามันยากที่จะเลิก สล็อตมีความสนุกสนานมาก รวมทั้งผู้คนอาจพบว่ามันยากที่จะหยุดเล่น ผู้ที่ติดสล็อตบางทีอาจพบว่ามันยากที่จะหาวิธีทำเงินโดยมิได้
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ถ้าผู้เล่นได้ชุดค่าผสมที่ชนะ เครื่องจะจ่ายเงินตามปริมาณที่เหมาะสม สล็อตแมชชีนมักจะถูกตั้งค่าเพื่อให้ผู้เล่นสามารถชนะรายได้แม้ว่าจะไม่ได้ชุดค่าผสมที่ชนะก็ตาม ในความจริง สล็อตแมชชีนส่วนมากจะชำระเงินขั้นต่ำหนึ่งเพนนีสำหรับทุกเหรียญที่ใส่เข้าไปสล็อตแมชชีนเป็นต้นแบบการพนันยอดนิยมเป็นอย่างมาก ใช้งานง่ายและได้ผลตอบแทนสูง
สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นผู้กระทำเงินที่ได้รับการรับรองแล้วสำหรับคาสิโนและห้องเล่นเกม ในปี 2560 ตลาดสล็อตแมชชีนทั้งโลกมีมูลค่ามากยิ่งกว่า
32 พันล้านดอลลาร์ ความนิยมนี้มีลักษณะท่าทางที่จะดำเนินต่อไปเวลาที่อุตสาหกรรมเติบโตแล้วก็ปรับปรุงอย่างสม่ำเสมอ สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นวิธีที่สนุกและปลอดภัยสำหรับเพื่อการใช้เวลาช่วงค่ำหรือวันหยุดสุดสัปดาห์สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นเกมคาสิโนยอดฮิตที่มีมานานนับเป็นเวลาหลายปี
พวกมันเล่นง่ายรวมทั้งทุกคนสามารถเพลินได้
มีสล็อตแมชชีนมากมายให้เลือก ดังนั้นใครๆก็สามารถหาเครื่องที่เหมาะสมกับพวกเขาได้
สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นแบบความเพลิดเพลินยอดนิยมจากผู้คนทุกวัย สล็อตแมชชีนเจอได้ในสถานประกอบการที่หลากหลาย ตั้งแต่บาร์รวมทั้งห้องอาหาร ไปจนถึงคาสิโนและก็คาสิโนออนไลน์ สล็อตแมชชีนใช้กลไกที่นานาประการเพื่อสร้างผลกำไรให้กับผู้ให้บริการ
สล็อตแมชชีนเป็นต้นแบบการพนันยอดนิยมจากหลายคนทั่วโลกที่เพลินใจกับโอกาสที่จะชนะรางวัลใหญ่ สล็อตแมชชีนได้รับการออกแบบมาให้สนุกสนานแล้วก็มีส่วนร่วม โดยมีเกมจำพวกต่างๆและก็คุณสมบัติโบนัสที่นานาประการเพื่อผู้เล่นได้โอกาสชนะรางวัลใหญ่ สล็อตแมชชีนยังได้รับความนิยมสำหรับเพื่อการดึงดูดใจทั้งโลก
โดยผู้เล่นในหลายประเทศเพลินใจกับโอกาสที่จะชนะรางวัลใหญ่
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สล็อตแมชชีนยอดเยี่ยมในแบบความรื่นเริงใจคาสิโนยอดนิยมเยอะที่สุด ใช้งานง่าย ให้ประสบการณ์ที่สนุกสนานรวมทั้งน่าตื่นเต้นแก่ผู้เล่น
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