Intervista GialloVerde – VINAZZA

Come avrete intuito questa rubrica vuole andare a scavare nel torbido, specialmente in quelle buone e giuste pratiche di fuorismo che ci contraddistinguono. In questo caso il torbido è la totalità, infatti pur dal suo lontano esilio bolognese riesce a far sentire la propria presenza. Mastro grigliatore del Kick ‘n drink, mastro bevitore 365 giorni all’anno. Il suo vero nome è avvolto nel mistero, quello con cui è conosciuto nel mondo un programma, signori e signori ecco a voi IL VINAZZA!

1) Quando è stata la prima volta che hai sentito parlare del Dal Pozzo e cosa hai pensato?

V: La prima volta che ho sentito parlare del Dal Pozzo è stato su Porn Hub, quando qualche buontempone ridoppió un video della categoria Midget con l’ audio dei primi cori della Masnada. Dopo aver finito di “esaminare” il video mi informai e scoprii che c’era questa squadra di periferia…O almeno, questo sarebbe successo nel mio mondo ideale.

In realtà il mio primo incontro con la Masnada è stato più normale, ma ugualmente magico. Fu in un tempo che si perde nei miti e nelle leggende, quando il Dal Pozzo era ancora il GS e La Mecca del calcio scadente era il Wilson Park. Con qualche amico dei tempi del GB Grassi (gran fucìna di cervelli) si parlava di trovare un’ altra scusa per bere e qualcuno aveva sentito di una certa squadra in una certa frazione che tirava scarpate a un pallone il sabato pomeriggio. In tempo record con dei kebab nello stomaco e delle Finkbrau (bei tempi) nello zaino ci trovammo in questo paesaggio idilliaco alle porte di Saronno, avvolti dalla fragranza del letame nei campi, a vedere una squadra sconosciuta giocare uno sport di cui a nessuno fregava niente. Peró è proprio lì che nacque l’amore: vedere quei quattro scappati di casa (cifre reali) che tifavano (più che altro bestemmie e insulti contro gli avversari) una squadretta senza campioni dietro una sola marcissima pezza giallo-verde mi fece venire subito la voglia di restare. Quando vidi poi che il rapporto casse di birra/supporters era di 5 a 1 capii subito che da quel gruppo poteva nascere qualcosa di grande. Pensai: “è qui che si realizzano i sogni”.

2) Da veterano del progetto ci hai mollato per terminare una laurea specialistica in scienze storiche a Bologna. Innanzitutto: non ti fai un po’ schifo? E in secondo luogo: raccontaci la preparazione tipo delle tue spedizioni in cui compari, miracolosamente a piedi, al campo armato di un qualche superalcolico semisconosciuto.

V: Ma perché farsi schifo quando ci si puó farsi e basta? Dopo questo questa piccola perla di saggezza appresa durante il soggiorno bolognese posso anticiparti che molto probabilmente quando avró anche io quell’ ambitissimo titolo di studio che mi garantirà l’ accesso al mondo della disoccupazione mi rimarrà molto tempo per espiare i peccati nei confronti del Dal Pozzo e di tutte le persone straordinarie che compongono il progetto, a cui sono molto affezionato. Suona come una profezia di Cristo: un giorno, quando meno ve lo aspettate, mi vedrete arrivare sotto i raggi del sole, camminando con una schiera di fedeli alcolisti e nuovi alcolici con cui battezzare i malcapitati che non hanno ancora visto la luce del Sert.

E succederà come sempre nel più fitto mistero della fede: la mia preparazione ai match é un dogma. Di solito quando giungevo alle partite era sempre per miracolo, dopo un after e non so come. Ma alla fine volente o nolente mi trovavo sempre al campo (a volte quello sbagliato, ma pur sempre un campo)

3) Bevanda azzurra in bottiglia Guizza, spiegaci.

V: Bevanda blu in bottiglia azzurra.

Sicuramente uno dei miei maggiori contributi alla causa Gialloverde. Puó sembrare strano ma non si trattava del solito sadico mezzuccio per vedere la gente sbronzarsi con cocktail casalinghi mefitici e decadenti. La doverosa premessa è che in quel periodo infuoriava lo scandalo “Blue Whale”, montato ad arte dai media di tutto il mondo e da qualche youtuber a caccia di visualizzazioni facili. Si scoprì in seguito che questo “gioco” (non alcolico guarda caso) non stava facendo male a nessuno.

Allora, raccolta tutta la mia indignazione, volevo inventare io qualcosa di blu che rappresentasse davvero un pericolo per la società e mi adoperai subito a sperimentare con tutti i superalcolici più lovecraftiani che trovavo in casa: è meglio non svelare la ricetta, ma il risultato fu la brodaglia di colore azzurrognolo che tutti conosciamo e che, una volta travasata in una bottiglia della laidissima acqua Guizza (già diaspetto satanico), cominciai a diffondere tra i pochi eletti della Curva.

Pensai che magari dopo le prime vittime Le Iene sarebbero arrivate anche a Dal Pozzo e la squadra ne avrebbe ottenuto la risonanza mediatica che si meritava…Ma fu un nulla di fatto. A quanto pare i masnadieri reggono troppo bene l’alcol. E di ció mi rendono più che orgoglioso.

4) Oltre che veterano del progetto sei anche veterano di bar e bettole del saronnese. Scuola GB Grassi, forgia, serate oi e birroni (in entrambi i sensi). Scarrella qualche aneddoto da vecchio lupo di mare quale sei.

V: Come si suol dire in questi casi “la ringrazio per la domanda ma passiamo alla prossima”.

In realtà no ho molto da raccontare perché sono un bravissimo ragazzo rispettoso delle leggi, del vivere civile e della proprietà privata. E anche perché per ovvi motivi etilici non mi ricordo molto delle mie imprese passate, dovrebbero essere gli altri a raccontarmele! Detto questo ci tengo a fare un appello rivolto soprattutto ai più giovani: in questo momento in cui la nostalgia mi attanaglia per la lontananza dalla mia terra romita, io esorto le nuove generazioni a non vivere dei ricordi di quelle passate. Ma in uno spirito dannunziano di amore per la vita eroica siate voi a plasmare il vostro disagio. Sbronzatevi e diventate voi degli aneddoti viventi!

5) E’ vietato introdurre all’interno dell’ano fumetti mortarogeni, rettili, preti e qualsiasisi stadio in bottiglia di vetro o vetro. E’ vietato, BIIIP BIIIP, altresì, BIIIP BIIIP, fumo e bevande alcoliche per tutti all’inferno. (nei commenti l’originale e la versione Vinazziana del manoscritto)

V: Mi fa piacere che questi miei deliri vi siano rimasti impressi nella memoria, ma ci tengo a precisare che la versione modificata da me é l’ altra, non quella dei fumetti mortarogeni rettali. Cioé, lo scherzo vero sarebbe che a una partita di calcio non si possa far casino né portare fumogeni e soprattutto BIRRE… Di questo passo dove andremmo a finire?

Ci credo che l’ interesse per lo sport in Italia é in declino.

6) Un gol, una scivolata, un rutto, una sbronza, una bestemmia. Raccontaci il tuo ricordo più bello legato al gialloverde.

V: Come in ogni partita del Dal Pozzo tutto questo avviene sempre in una botta sola!

Eh difficile rispondere perché i bei ricordi sono tanti. Le prime partite la domenica mattina quando i giocatori, da veri atleti, si presentavano direttamente in after. Le grigliate spontanee che partivano al Wilson tutti i giorni, fatte bruciando dei bancali sospetti con fiamme dai colori improbabili dovute a chissà quale metallo pesante. I cortei quelli veri fatti per le strade della frazione… Cioè quelli da casa Bertuolo fino al campo trascinando in strada gli spalti D. I. Y. in una processione di bestemmie e sudore. E come dimenticare la bolgia della prima partita in terza categoria allo stadio di Turate? La curva che frana a Valbrembo con il gol del 90esimo che ci porta in finale di Coppa? La prima trasferta fiorentina? E il degenero morale dei Kick n Dink?

Ovviamente i ricordi (sbiaditi) che mi infiammano ancora sono perlopiù legati agli aspetti meno agonistici dell’ esperienza dalpozziana, senza nulla togliere all’ impegno e alla dedizione della società e di chi poi in campo ci scende davvero con la voglia di rompere il culo al mondo. Anzi,

sono sicuro che vedendo come si battono da leoni nel terzo tempo (quello che conta) i ragazzi in campo sappiano regalare spettacolo anche negli altri due tempi meno importanti.

“A noi della partita non ce ne frega un cazzo” cit.

Se proprio dovessi dire un momento in cui per caso mi é fregato qualcosa anche della partita non potrei fa altro che citare la finale di coppa Lombardia. Nonostante una partita combatrutissima la sfiga ci regaló una sconfitta ai rigori, ma noi ne uscimmo da reali vincitori. Perché quando vedi coi tuoi occhi che in campo e sulle gradinate batte un solo cuore capisci che il vero sport non ha a che fare con i risultati e non é più solo un fenomeno di aggregazione sociale ma una vera e propria dimostrazione di Umanità. Empatia ai livelli più sublimi.

Per questo AVANTI DAL POZZO! PER ASPERA AD ASTRA… E Origgio merda. Sempre e comunque.

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